Wednesday, June 2, 2010

These are the things I want in life:

Money. My goal is to have an endless amount of it, but for now I'm happy with a little extra here and there. For the future, I am writing a book (working title: The Somnambulist's Mother and Other American Contritions), and someday it will wildly popular, probably a New York Times bestseller, and I will have a permanent stream of income for no real additional work, other than the occasional glamorous world-tour book-signing.

My back up plan: I'm taking online classes and night classes to get my certificate to interpret in sign language for deaf children in hearing schools. After I get my certificate, I will continue to go to school in the evenings, online, and over my summers, until I can be a teacher. Maybe a high school English teacher. or an English professor, because then I would get paid a ridiculous sum of money to make fun of my students. Probably.

Right now: I get a paycheck from Adsense here and there, which is usually enough to keep me from getting so far behind on my bills that the omnipotent they shut off my water and electric. Did you know that blogging can help keep someone's bills paid? Yep. Every time someone clicks one of those ads off to the side, I get a little bit of money. When I don't make enough on Adsense to keep me afloat in any given month, I sell my plasma. Sounds gross, but it's super simple. They stick a needle in your arm, take out the blood, swirl it around, keep the plasma, and pump the red blood cells and other stuff back in. Then they give me a check for thirty dollars. I also make a little extra money here and there. ;)

Beauty. I want to be stunningly, drop-dead-gorgeous. As a freshman in high school, I was 5-foot-7, 110 lbs, size 1, had waist-length blonde hair, and perfect skin. My sophomore year, I got an autoimmune disorder, the only treatment for which is steroids... which cause acne and weight gain. Oh yea, and then after 3 years of enjoying my new 15-lb, acne-ridden frame, I got pregnant. Now at 139 lbs, I have pregnancy stretch marks, extra skin, skin issues galore... I just want my body back., Not my pre-baby body, because it kinda sucked too, but my pre-chronic-illness body. That's be nice. Oh, and my skin too. Skin that is elastic and goes back where it's supposed to. Is that really too much to ask for?

Influence. Not necessarily power, but influence. I think this is why I wanted to be a model, and then a clothes designer. I wanted to shape the way people saw the world. And now, of course, I want to be a writer. I always want to own a coffee shop or something. That'd be a healthy amount of influence.

Love. Not gonna lie; I want to be loved. I want money, beauty, and influence because I think that if I have those things, I won't need love... but it's just not true.

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